A few more jokes you may or may not have heard

            Anyway, here are a few more jokes. Some of them are more clever than others, but I'm sure they'll put a smile on your face.

 

1. A friend of mine complains to me about waking up with headaches. I keep telling him to get out of bed feet first.

 

2. New York is so crowded that even the cemetaries have standing room only.

 

3. I once stayed at a hotel so small, all the rats were hunchbacked. 

 

4. Once, I stayed in a place so small, I stuck a key in the door, and it went right out the window.

 

5. People tell me I should get my cat fixed, but I don't think so. She's not broken.

 

6. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

 

Answer: 'El if I know.

 

7. I know someone so dumb, he stayed up all night studying fo his blood test.

 

8. I once met a geologist, but I was a bit disappointed. My mom told me I'd be meeting a rock star.

 

9. How many skinny people can fit into a shower?

 

Answer: Hard to say. They keep slipping through the drain.

 

10. What do you call it when the sky begins raining chicken Mc. Nuggets?

 

Answer: Fowl weather.

 

11. How many superheroes does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Answer: 2. One to hold the lightbulb, the other to turn the world around it.

 

12. How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Answer: None. They get a man to do it.

 

13. What do you get when you cross a termite with a praying mantis?

 

Answer: An insect that says grace before eating your house.

 

14. If a snake married an undertaker, what would their towels say?

 

Answer: Hiss and hearse

 

15. One civilian called for a Cryptonian superhero in an emergency, but got a big fat guy instead. I told him that Superman wasn't spelled with 2 p's.

 

16. Where does Superman go bowling?

 

Answer: At Lois Lanes.

 

17. What's the difference between a C.E.O. and a star?

 

Answer: One of them is a monumental ball of flaming gas that kills whatever gets close to it. The other is a star.

 

18. How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Answer: I don't know. I'd hate to count them in the dark.

 

19. Dogs bark, Cats meow, birds sing, but what sound does a snail make?

 

Answer: Crunch!

 

20. What do you call a dog catcher?

 

Answer: Spot remover.

 

21. My former boss always wanted to talk about what was on his mind, and believe me, that was always small talk.

 

22. Someone has been killing off popular icons and mascots such as Snap, Crackle and Pop, Tony the tiger, the Trix rabbit, and Sugar Bear. The police suspect a cereal killer.

 

23. An unfortunate young man was mauled to death last week, when a rescue unit misunderstands his emergency call: "Bear with me."

 

24. A boatload full of yoyos off the South Pacific reportedly went down- about sity seven times! 

 

25. What do you get when you cross a tiger with another tiger?

 

Answer: Oh, I wouldn't do it. Tigers hate to be crossed!

 

26. How many cups does it take to reach from here to the moon?

 

Answer: One. One BIIIG one.

 

27. What do you get when you cross a homing pigeon with a barstool?

 

Answer: A stool pigeon.

 

28. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a millipede?

 

Answer: A walky talkie.

 

29. Why should you never borrow a dime from a football coach?

 

Answer: Because they always want a quarterback!

 

30. What happens when the Thing meets Edward Scissor Hands?

 

Answer: The most one-sided game of Rock Paper Scissors in history.

 

That's all for now. Check out my other blogs for even more jokes.