A funny egg story with Muppet characters

The square egg sketch:

The scene begins with a newspaper that has the headline: Scientist invents square eggs! The scene pans back to show a kid Muppet dressed as an old fashioned New Yorker holding a newspaper and saying: “Eggstra! Eggstra! Read all about it! (I apologize, but you’ve got to admit, the joke works.) Reporter to interview egg head! After the canned laughter, the kid Muppet says to the audience: “Hey. I didn’t write it.” The scene changes to two Muppets standing in a room, facing one another, one of whom is dressed as a reporter, while the other is dressed as a scientist. The reporter says: “Okay, now, I expect you to tell me all about your new discovery.” The scientist says: “Well, you can count on me.” The reporter says: “Well, actually, I can’t I tried to before the show and you told me to get off.” The scientist says: “Listen you. Keep the wise cracks to the minimum.” The reporter says: “Roger. Only dumb jokes.” The scientist says: “No, I mean cut out all the jokes.” The reporter says: “I get it. No more cracking yolks.” The scientist says: “Oh come on. At least come up with a better joke.” The reporter says: “You’re right. That one was for the birds.” The scientist says: “(Sigh) Okay, well, let me show you my chickens.”   

The reporter says: “Do they get paid?” The scientist says: “Of course not.” The reporter writes on a pad of paper and says: “Chickens work for scratch.” The scientist says: “Stop that.” The two Muppets get to a Muppet chicken, and the scientist says: “Now, this, here is my best chicken.” The reporter says: “Ah. The top of the pecking order.” The scientist says: “Exactly- Hey!” The reporter says: “Okay, so when did you first begin experimenting?” The scientist replies: “Since I was just a chick. (He looks at the audience) Good grief.” The reporter says: “Well, the burning question on THIS reporter’s mind is, why make a square egg?” The scientist says: “Well, the reason is simple. (He looks at the audience) Not unlike the person who asked. (He turns back to the reporter, and takes out a plate in one hand.) Well, as you can see, when you take a regular egg- (The reporter hands him an egg) Say, where’d you get this egg anyway?” The reporter replies: “The sketch laid it at the beginning.” The scientist says: “Why am I not surprised? (He puts the egg on the plate.) (Ahem) As you can see, when you put a regular egg on your plate, (The egg rolls off the plate and a crashing noise is heard in the background.) it rolls right off.”

The reporter says: “You just had to break that to me, didn’t you?” The scientist says: “Yes, well, with my new, patented, square egg, (He takes out a brick-shaped fake egg, and puts it on the plate.) this problem will be solved.” The reporter says: “Why that’s an eggcellant invention.” The scientist says: “Did you come in here with all those jokes?” The reporter replies: “Heck no. I’m just winging it.” The reporter turns to the chicken and says: “Mrs. Chicken, what do you have to say about laying the world’s first square eggs?” The chicken replies: “What else? Ouch!” The reporter says: “So, tell me… about these new chicken eggs…” The scientist says: “Yes?” The reporter says: “Are they going to be cheep?” The scientist says: “No. In fact, I plan on charging quite a lot for these little beauties.” The reporter says: “Gosh. With a lot of charge, these things could get shell shock.” The scientist says: “Enough! Now, (He turns the plate sideways) as I was saying, these things will be worth a fortune unless they get broken before they (The egg falls off the plate, and a crashing sound is heard). Oh, my.” The reporter says: “Well, at least now, you know your eggs are all they’re cracked up to be.” The chicken walks out of the scene, and the scientist groans and says: “Is there anything else you wanted to ask me?”

The reporter says: “Yes. Do you like making foods that use eggs? French Toast is especially tasty.” The scientist says: “Ah, yes it is. But to make French Toast, you need bread.” The reporter says: “Maybe you do. I just buy it at the store.” The chicken walks into the room, wearing a hat and a coat, and carrying a suitcase. The chicken walks out saying: “Oh, I’m sorry doctor. I just can’t take any more bad jokes.” The chicken leaves, and the scientist says to the reporter: “Now see what you’ve done?! You’ve let your bad puns run a fowl!” The reporter says: “I guess you’d call that chicken to go.” The scientist snarls loudly, and the reporter says: “You’ve got kind of an anger problem, haven’t you?” The scientist says, while still appearing angry: “I’ll have you know that I am usually very cool tempered!” The reporter says: “Oh, well, it looks like I got you out of your shell.” The scientist chases him around, and the scene changes to the Muppet kid dressed as an old fashioned New Yorker, as he holds a newspaper, saying: “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Dumb cluck commits jokicide!” Another Muppet walks up to him and says: “Jokicide? What’s that?” The kid says: “Well, everyone knows that jokes kill.”